What I Think Of A Girl Who Says She Is Beautiful Confidently

Grace Kahinga
4 min readMar 1, 2020

What do I think of a girl who knows that she is beautiful and is not afraid to say it with her chest that she is indeed beautiful? I think she is a queen! She is the kind of girl that I have no choice but to celebrate and not just me, but the entire world. Such a girl deserves a standing ovation and a crown because if she says that she is beautiful, who are we to say that she is not?

For as long as we have existed, a girl’s beauty has always been subject to speculation and criticism from the public eye, and unless the society has allowed it to be so, a girl is not permitted to feel or be beautiful. Instead, she is a handed a mirror of what is perceived to be beautiful, and it is from it that she is to judge herself where she rates. Unfortunately, the public’s image of pre-perceived beauty hardly matches or aligns with reality and only serves to favor a few girls, while the rest who are the majority are left clamoring for the remains of the society’s acceptance, appraisal and attention.

Photo by Isi Parente on Unsplash

The notion of what qualifies to be beautiful and what is not, is one way of how the society controls and polices bodies of girls and women. If you are lucky to fit in the cage, you are loved and spoiled with attention. As a matter of fact, if you received a dollar for every look of admiration that is thrown your way, you would have already retired by now and never lack for anything for the rest of your life. But woe unto you if you rate outside the category of what is acceptable, the society will see to it that you are reminded every day of what you are not and what you should strive to be. Its perception of you will dictate what you eat, what you wear, what makeup you use and even who you can date or socialize with. As a result, millions of girls do not ever think of themselves as beautiful and are constantly trying to change themselves to get the validation they feel they need before they can accept that yes, they are beautiful. It is not unusual to hear of the extreme lengths that girls are willing to go to achieve this so-called perfect beauty. Sadly, only few ever achieve this perfection and if they do, it is often short-lived as society standards have been known to shift. Today it could be tall, slender and light-skinned, and tomorrow, it could be short-haired and curvaceous.

We are always telling our girls that they are beautiful just as they are, but still highly frown upon those who say they are beautiful without our prompting. We are not yet ready to accept girls who do not need our acknowledgement and approval before they can express themselves of how beautiful they feel. Instead, we tend to see them as proud, shallow and vain. It is funny how we want them to feel and know that they are beautiful, but only when and if those revered words are coming from us.

Photo by Jared Subia on Unsplash

When a girl can confidently say that she is beautiful, it means she does not need your approval to feel so. It means that you no longer have power to control how she sees herself, and screw whatever opinions you had of her because she is not having none of them. It means she cannot fit anymore inside your small box of preconceived beauty and she is living on her own terms. So stop acting surprised that a girl can know who she is, with or without your input and instead, join me in celebrating her because such as a girl is one that we have to stan!



Grace Kahinga

Copywriting | I have a teeny-tiny newsletter where I share life lessons in bite-sized letters every Thursday & Sunday. Find it here: thelastlotusflower.substack